Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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