you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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