Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
