I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
