CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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