so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
