I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
