dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
