Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
