you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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