Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
