Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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