i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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