Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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