So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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