can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
