i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
