i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
