But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
