So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
honey bunches of taint.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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