If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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