Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
