i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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