You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
