no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
