Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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