I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
