he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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