Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
