Betty ford says i'm here all night
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
