There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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