My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
