i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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