If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
