Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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