super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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