i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
