She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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