wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
