Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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