i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
