Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I can't turn off my feet"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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