haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize