Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
