Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
In other news, I just burned my penis
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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