Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
