so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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