This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
