I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
