Rock
Scissors
Fuck
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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