The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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