I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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