You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
