Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize