I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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