I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
God I need to hump something, right now.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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