when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize