yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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