We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
