Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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