I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
