I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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