I wanna passion pit in your ass
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize