I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
